How do instance variables work? We've all used instance variables in our programs, but how do they actually work? In this presentation we'll look at how instance variables are implemented in Ruby. We'll start with a very strange benchmark, then dive in to Ruby internals to understand why the code behaves the way it does. Once we've figured out this strange behavior, we'll follow up with a patch to increase instance variable performance. Be prepared for a deep dive in to a weird area of Ruby, and remember: don't @ me!